F!

Fxck! (Excuse my expression)

I did a great mistake in that design.
I enlarged the photos!!
It can only reduce but i enlarge it to the max!!

My mood to work hard totally gone!
(I know that is avoiding problem.)
And then, because of my great mistake, i delayed the deadline to pass the client another visuals.
I already disappointed that time when i watched the time passed by slowly because of the computer problem.
I keep saying Fxxx Fxxx Fxxx in my mind while i was transferring or downloading the files that sent by clients.
The stupid computer memory not even enough for me to download 7 tiff files!
Then, I had to keep transferring those files to another hard disc!!
From 2.15pm o'clock i started to download and moving files,  i was thinking may be i still have time to rush out the another 3 visuals after 2.30pm.
Who knows? It until 4.30pm i only finished transferring and start doing!
Well, I totally gave up and waiting if my boss wanna scold me because i delayed the deadline on my own..

At the end, i sent the visuals to the client by 6pm instead of the time given 3pm.
Just pissed off with the company computer system!
Cant they change to good and faster system?
Everything in rush but the 'old' computer drag our time while transferring or saving or converting!
The part that i think even worst is the softwares' version!
You need me to handle this job but my computer does not have the software and i need to borrow here and there from colleagues.
Well, they have their jobs too!

I messed up this and that ads at the end.
Fxxx again.

9pm now, i read the work's email and Fxxx the client!
Could you please check 1st before say that i jumbled up your ads?
I dont think it could be happened!
I just copy and paste the ex-colleagues work!
Although boss has clarified for me, when i see the way she email and disrespect me, allow me, WTF?!

I need to find another word to replace F.
It is not good that always mention that word.

Sick again

At the end, I am sick again!
Damn it!!

I was damn tired last week and rest not enough!
Back home and sleep too late!
I thought i can stand for it until this weekend then i can rest again.

I woke up yesterday morning with shoulder-ache.
Then started not feeling well when working.
Back home and had a panadol to reduce my headache and try to stop myself from gettting sick.
No use! I thought to MC today so i can rest well before it getting serious.
I can't! cause I have deadlines again today :((

I want some sleep!!

ipod shuffle

My gift!
An ipod Shuffle.
It was hilarious when my bf told me he found that my old cheap mp3 is annoying with some sounds in it.
He pity me that how could i use that to play song?
Then we laughed!
Thank you :目

The next gift that i want to give myself is Ipad!
Money money money~ Please come come!

I cut my hair today.
I feel fresh!

good mood tuesday

Because of 1-Malaysia day, we had a holiday replacement on Monday 17/9/2012.
So i took my friend's car went back to hometown.
Met a old friend and had talks and laughs in the car. haha

Despite the tiring body, i went to a boutique and looked for the clothes for convocation.
At the end, i bought extra clothes -__-
This was the 1st time my sister encourage me buy clothes.
Usually she will tell me not to waste the money!

Then i bought 1 pants that i like so much. haha
Tuesday morning i dress nicely to work to make myself feel good. ~.~
Try to take photo while waiting for lift..

I love flowers and colors!

Souveniers

When i back from holiday for few days, then the whole company went for company trip-Taiwan.
However, 3 of us still need to work :(
The last day 1 of the boss buy us Chatime drink to encourage and reward us. haha..

Luckily we have nice seniors, they bought us some souvenirs.
I got 2 3D postcards! I don't have time to cut and fold it yet.
I need some free time to cut it concentrate-ly so it does not spoiled like that. :P
Postcard+1pork jerky from dai lou seng! yummy!
(credited to ZY of her postcard final look)
machi+instant noodles from Mama Ms Tan~
Sweet toy machine from rabbit Myct.
Letter block for Raymond.





















Yay yay!

holiday in August and few days in September

Again, 1 week just pass like that.
I don't even ready yet for the coming of weekend this week then it gone like this!!
I don't even have time and energy to welcome it and it gone just like this!!
damn it! why time flies?!

okay, life goes on, but I go backward here to record my holiday in August and few days in September.
ha-ha

I had my 2-weeks holiday in August at my hometown and I learnt from my sister how to cook some vegetarian foods... through words -.-v
Then, i try it when i back to KL, oh my goshhhh! It was terrible!!

See, how delicious my sister cooking! Miss it!


We hired an uncle to clean this little land in front of my house.
Before this it used to be planted with sugar cane.
Then nobody to take care of this place after my mother left.

I planned to plant some sunflower originally.....
But my father is too busy to help me to take care of them.
So i gave it up.. I digged some grass that wont grow from my neighbour and planted it!
Aunties say it will grow even faster if rainy days.
Luckily, that week rain often. haha.. Cause i cannot wait to see them grow.


After 2 weeks i back to hometown. It is more green than before.
and the Okra that planted by my father and I grow so fast!

Then i went back to KL again, leaving my O-lu-bu-lu.... :(((

空.間

今天，我只想說我不開心。
我覺得我留在這裡很不開心。
我不喜歡自己的改變。
我問自己，為什麼要這樣改變？
我改到自己都討厭自己是為了什麼？
為了和這個容易相處為了做的好那個人的朋友。
我為什麼要改。。

過去我和我的你們相處的好好，沒問題。
今天，在這個地方確一直遇上問題，要改來改去。
我又不是做錯，做壞事。
我覺得很不舒服。我很想逃出那層層的黏殼。
我不要這樣的自己。不再真實。
很不舒服。
我頭暈頭痛想吐想脫想抓想推想躲想縮想逃！

做了維持3星期的噩夢，終於昨天做了比較level低的惡夢。
我不想倒霉。
每次，打起精神，決定存好錢，打好計劃，一定要破財。
現在都沒氣爭取了。
逆來順手，你來我閃是生活之道。

我看到自己我很難過。
那個充滿火力的我，火力都要熄滅。
只想躲避，也想被忽略算了。
這樣的人很討厭。

幾個禮拜錢開罪了朋友，昨天也終於得罪了同學同事。
我就是沒經過大腦，我就是失敗。自我管理一團糟，時間管理是個屁！
在新加坡那段期間，不斷規劃自己，提未來打算，迫不及待向前走，就算高山都不怕。
現在遲到，逃避樣樣過去的討厭都在身上出現。我覺得很惡心。我什麼都不想去觸碰。
我怕，我怕！
你說我對不起自己是為我好，我懂。
你說我反覆食言，我認。
你說我自己也管理不好，我難過。
我不想。我不想。但是那空氣太死，我太矮，我沒力氣踮起腳尖去尋找我的氧氣。
過去分秒必爭，現在嘗試爭取。我也很累。
怎麼你們都過的不錯，我覺得自己很糟糕。
我想，念，要，你們的生活。我也想念你們。。:'(

一天24小時，我很難找到讓我透氣躲起來的自我分享空間。
我想走，走去哪裡，我不懂！
我想逃，逃去哪裡，我不會！
我想決定，決定怎樣，我失算！
我需要時間冷靜休息。我不想有這麼多困擾。
我不想說。我不想做。我想想。
心理身理需要時間安靜的調養。
就像在安靜的時間隧道平躺，清洗我的思緒。

思緒很亂。原來會神經是這樣。
我很脆弱。我不想再包裝自己，不想在修補外殼。。
赤裸裸的，聆聽 空。

ready mode go back to work

發了信息給三個人問同樣的問題確都沒有一個回復。哎喲，人家不想再帶著笨重的電腦去那麼遠上班喇！

休息了兩個星期，說長不長，說短不短。
假期才過了一個星期就開始擔憂時間過的太快，又要離開家半年多了 *嚎啕大哭
真想像其他同學一樣休息，頹廢個幾個月。。
但是我就是緊張，就是怕死，所以一畢業隔天就上班吶，從來不跟從自己的心願。
說要去新加坡，畢業前鐵了決定，確因為那幾堂延遲的tvc commercial而改變了決定。
現在，唯有在這裡待一年吧。
不停告訴自己：一年很快的。
有句話就說啊，做或不做，做了才知道你要的是什麼，做了才知道你想去哪裡。
現在都幾個月了，我想說，我還是想去新加坡。haha
或許我喜歡大城市的生活？

明天又要開始上班了。
唉，星期五回來就病了，一想到明天就要去上班就病情加重。 *爛藉口 :P
我要努力加油！早去工作早點放班回家！因為吉隆坡的治安是危險的。 *害怕

還有，

我要努力加油！工作存錢！去旅行！！
我要努力加油！工作存錢！去享受！！

Thatcher:
‘Watch your thoughts, for they become words. Watch your words, for they become actions. Watch your actions, for they become habits. Watch your habits, for they become your character. Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny. What we think, we become.

And I think, I can do it!